Captured
by FearIsButFearItself
Summary: Kanda gets 'stolen' by his insane stalker, and no matter how many times he escapes from the cages in her basement, she always finds him and captures him, trying to get him to sign a contract to bond their souls forever.
1. Im Being Stalked!

Fibfi-Chan: Here's a story, with little to no glory, that caaaaame, from a flower. Deke and Blank, DISCLAIMER!

Deke & Blank: Fibfi-Chan doesn't own D. Gray-Man, and never will. And she doesn't have any sanity, and never will. Now read.

Kanda walked through the park, it was a normal day. He skipped school, ignored all his phone calls, beat up some random drunken idiot that tried to kiss him, you know. The daily stuff. But, today, something was….off. He felt as if someone was watching him. It was creepy. And after the feeling went away, he thought he heard faint, evil laughter. He walked past some bushes, when he thought he saw someone's eyes gleaming through them. He did a double take, and saw that no one was there. _I'm just being paranoid. That's all there is to it. _Little did Kanda know, that someone WAS watching him. She had been stalking him all day. She was craving. Craving to have him all to herself. He was going to be hers by the end of the day. "MUAH HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

_There's that evil laughter again! AM I just being paranoid, or is someone really there…?_

By the end of the day, this strange, strange, STRANGE girl had almost completed her plan. IT WAS BRILLIANT! Kanda walked into the woods, wondering WHY WHY WHY he was so paranoid. Nothing made sense…. Just as he was about to turn back and go into town again, a girl jumped in front of him. She had golden brown eyes, with hair to match, and she was about five foot two inches. She was wearing a short black shirt, with elbow length sleeves, had long ripped up pants, and black combat boots. She looked a little insane too…. "Excuse me sir, but how does one get into town from here?"

"…just follow me, ill show you."

"Well, that's a great idea and all, but, how about…I just…put you in a cage….and take you all for myself?"

"….what?"

"YOU SHALL BE MINE! MUAH HAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHA!"

"What the…?"

-ONE DAY LATER-

"Shit…my head hurts…what the hell happened?"

"Well….my dear new pet, I have taken you hostage, and soon, YOU WILL WORSHIP ME! MUAH HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"…your crazy aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"…nice. Ive been kidnapped-"

"STOLEN!"

"by some crazy chick that says ill worship her. I knew I shouldn't of taken those drugs…."

"Drugs? This is no hallucination boy, this, is, SPARTA!"

"…"

"…"

"…Why'd you call me 'boy'? Your younger than me….."

"I ALWAYS CALL PEOPLE 'BOY' BOY!"

"Even if their a girl?"

"…no, I call girls 'girl'."

"…but you just said-"

"FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID! I CALL BOYS 'BOY' AND GIRLS 'GIRL'! DEAL WITH MY AWESOMENESS!"

"…freak….why'd you kidnap me again?"

"STOLE. I STOLE YOU. DIDN'T KIDNAP. STOLE. S-T-O-L-E. SSSTTTTOOOOLLLLEEEEE!"

"Okay. So, why'd you….STEAL me?"

"….uh uhuh."

"….what?"

"….uh uhuh."

"What?"

"I SAID, UH UHUH!"

"…okay….so you kidnapped me for no reason?"

"STOLE! I STOLE YOU! DIDN'T KIDNAP, STOLE!"

"Yeah, whatever. So you did it for no reason?"

"CORRECT!"

"…freak."

"I know I am. And, since I have successfully stolen you, I shall let you go free. Farwell."

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"You wont do this again, will you?"

"All in due time, my love…all in due time…."

And with that, she disappeared into the darkness and forgot to unlock the cage….great.

Fibfi-Chan: Well, I think I'm going to turn this into a multi chapter series…if you want me to, just review and tell me. I'm really debating it. I mean, it'd be fun ta write, but I'm also working on another series that I'll post very soon. I just gotta transport it from my sketch book, to my laptop. Then I'll edit it, then, WALLA it'll be posted. YAY!

Deke: Wow….telling the readers your 'evil plans'….not very evil…

Fibfi-Chan: Well, it's not really evil plans, just plans. That I call evil. Cause it's gonna be funny. So funny it should be illegal. And that's why it's funny. And evil.

Blank: Anyways, ignoring her for a second, review and let us know if you want this to turn multi chapter so we get to kidnap all the D. Gray-Man characters.

Fibfi-Chan: DON'T IGNORE MEEEEE!

Blank & Deke: Ignore her and review.


	2. She's Here Too!

Fibfi-Chan: Well, since people liked this story, I'm continuing it!

Deke: If you have any suggestions on it, review or private message us, and we'll try it out, see if we like it, and if we do like it, it'll be used in the story!

Blank: Yeah so give us some suggestions.

Fibfi-Chan: I don't own D. Gray-Man! If I did, I would've killed a LOT of the characters! I love killing characters….MUAH HAHAHAHAHA!

Blank & Deke: ….ignore her once again and just read the story…

Kanda walked into school, not wanting that crazy chick to find him again, and she probably would if he was out walking on the streets. So school was his last resort, since she most likely knew where he lived and all since she WAS stalking him. But your probably wondering how he got out of that cage last night right? Well, turns out the bars could barley keep the top of the cage up they were so weak, so Kanda just leaned on the bars thinking about death, heave n, hell, and how pitiful it was how he was going to die in a cage, when the bars busted apart and had him lying on his back wondering what the hell just happened. Kanda nervously glanced around, checking to see if that freak was there while he walked to his school locker. He didn't see her, but that didn't mean she wasn't there. I mean, he didn't see her 'all to obvious stalking'. I mean, almost everyone else did. It was really obvious, I mean ya know, with all the insane evil laughter that could be heard from ten miles away. Even a drunken idiot noticed it. Kanda put in his locker combination and slowly, cautiously opened it. He froze with shock, paled incredibly, so much that all the others in the hallway noticed, and attempted to slam his locker shut. But, sadly enough, for our dear Kanda, a foot stopped it from closing, and that insane chick tackled him. "Kanda dear! I was worried when I didn't see you at your house this morning, so I looked EVERYWHERE for you, and finally decided to check the school! I'm SOOOO glad I found you~! Isnt it lucky we go to the same school?" Everyone in the hallway was frozen in shock, and just stared at the strange, and CLEARLY INSANE girl. After a few moments of shocked silence Kanda decided to speak up. "WHO THE HELL **ARE** YOU?"

"Don't tell me you don't recognize me Kanda-Kun! We talked for a whole HOUR last night! Remember~?"

Kanda stared at her with wide eyes as recognition struck him. "Y-Your that freak stalker from the woods!"

"Not stalker, admirer!"

"YOU FUCKING KNOCKED ME OUT AND STUCK ME IN A CAGE! THAT'S CALLED KIDNAPPING!"

"I DID NOT KIDNAP YOU, I STOLE YOU! S-T-O-L-E!"

"What's WITH you?"

"You~!"

"ARG! YOUR SO ANNOYING! AND GET OFF ME!"

"No my love, your coming with ME~!"

"OH GOD NOT AGAIN!"

The insane chick took Kanda's hand and dragged him off to only God knows where.

-About Fifteen Minutes Later-

"Oww….why'd you do that? It hurt!"

"What? I only knocked you upside the head with a huge and heavy rock. Did it hurt? Because if it did I'm happy. I like seeing you in pain."

"…You've got some serious issues."

"So I've been told! Now, if only you'd be kind enough to sign this paper."

"What the….it's a…contract?"

"Now you're getting it. It's a contract that'll bond our souls FOREVER~!"

"WHAT? YOU'RE FREAKIN CRAZY! I'M NOT SIGNING THAT!"

"Then I'll just leave you here until you agree. With no food, or water. Or anything. Except the dark. Dark dark darkness. And you'll be ALONE~!"

"Don't care, long as I'm away from you!"

"Fine, I'll just get you some friends to help you decide."

"Wait, didn't you just say ill be alone?"

"Well, I changed my mind! Grr…stupid idiotic bastard…."

"…freak…."

Fibfi-Chan: Hope you enjoyed the chappie~!

Blank: I'll have to say, this one was rather…interesting….to write.

Deke: Man…who'll join Kanda in the insane chicks dungeon? Lavi, Allen, Lenalee, who? Why don't you tell us who'll join him? It can be one or more people and anyone from D. Gray-Man.

Fibfi-Chan: Yeah, we just need help with this! It's fun, but hard ta write, so give us suggestions on who'll join him! Just review~!

Blank: …..just tell us and ignore the overly hyper chick.

Fibfi-Chan: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Deke & Blank: …..


	3. But I DO belive!

Fibfi-Chan: Hello people!

Masquerade: We're back from hiatus!

Blank: …wasn't the hiatus only for this story…?

Deke: Yup.

Angel: Your point?

Blank: …

Fibfi-Chan: Blank, Deke, DISCLAIMER! Angel, Masquerade, COOKIES FOR THE REVIEWERS!

Deke & Blank: None of us own D. Gray-Man, if we did…Jerry would be shown WAAYYYY more~

Angel & Masquerade: TIME TO MAKE COOKIES! –skip off to the kitchen, hand in hand, happily singing about cookies-

Fibfi-Chan: LOLLIE POPS!

Deke: …uh…what...?

Blank: Just…don't ask. It'll only add to your confusion.

* * *

Kanda slowly opened his eyes only to see that he was still stuck inside the cage that crazy chick put him in.

He looked around, unable to see anything in the dark. From what he could tell, there were three other cages across from his.

_What the hell? Where is that crazy chick?_

"Ah, Kanda dear~! How have you been?"

_Speak of the devil…_

"Kanda dear! Don't be so rude! Thinking things like that about your soul mate is ever so rude and mean!" She said as she wagered her finger in-front of Kanda's cage in a scolding manner.

"SOUL MATES! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU! YOU'RE JUST SOME INSANE STALKER! WE'RE NOT SOUL MATES, AND NEVER WILL BE, SO JUST LET ME OUT OF THIS GOD FORSAKEN CAGE!" Kanda yelled, then paused confused as he realized something. "…but…how the hell did you know what I was thinking…?"

"Well, Kanda dear, we're soul mates! Soul mates know what each-other are thinking, all the time~!"

"Then…why don't I know what _you're _thinking?"

"…" She was obviously stumped and stunned into silence, until she grinned brilliantly at some insane idea and yelled at the poor teen in the cage, "NO! YOU CAN! YOUR JUST NOT BELIVING ENOUGH!"

"…uh…yes I am…?"

"STOP LYING YOU NO GOOD BABOON BUTT!"

"…I'm…not…"

"LIAR!"

* * *

Deke: …WTF.

Angel: -dancing to Dum Diggy Dum by ToyBox-

Fibfi-Chan: -making out with her snuggie-

Blank & Masquerade: -watching south park-

Deke: …well…who ever reviews gets cookies!

Reviewers: YAY!


	4. Lucy Monroe?

Blank: Hello all! I have now taken over this story, so YAY! Now, I don't own D. Gray-Man. If I did, there would be much more humor! …and violence…cough

* * *

"Look, I'm not a liar! I DO freakin' believe! But there's a problem; WE'RE NOT SOUL MATES! YOU'RE JUST CRAZY! So, just let. Me. Out. Of. This. CAGE!"

"...Alright, let's say that I AM crazy, and that you're right about us not being soul mates. What are you going to do about it? I love you, and we're getting married this afternoon."

"Wait, wha-"

"Ahh, and I was being so nice, giving you a choice in this and all. Oh well! I guess all good things have to come to an end at some point, correct?" Not waiting for an answer, she bent down so that we were face to face, and she looked, for lack of other terms, frightening.

"I might as well tell you my name, since we WILL be married, and you WILL love me. Even though love is fully possible without names…hum…anywho, my name is Lucy~! Lucy Monroe~! No need to tell me yours, though. I mean, I've been stalking you all year so I know your name, AND all your nicknames~! Isn't that just _lovely~_?"

"…You…you've been stalking me…all…_YEAR?_"

"Yup~!"

"Don't you have a **LIFE**?"

"Yup, and it's dedicated all to YOU!"

"What's _WRONG_ with you?"

"Everything and anything~! What's your excuse?"

"…ugh..."

The newly named 'Lucy' giggled as she stood up, then, she plopped her purse down in my cage, grinning the whole time, as she began skipping away.

"Why'd you drop you purse in my cage?"

'_Oh no! I just admitted that this is my cage! Her unstable mentality must be rubbing off on me!'_

"Well, I _did _say that I was giving you a friend, didn't I?"

And with one last smile at me and a girlish giggle, she left the dungeon, closing the door behind her.

Great.

* * *

Blank: So, how'd you all like it? Was it great? Stupid? Awesome? So incredibly lame that you wanna burn it? Give me a review and let me know~!


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